Reluctant
Reluctance n. ‘act of struggling against;’ ‘unwillingness, aversion;’ … from re- ‘back, against, in opposition’ + luctari ‘to struggle, wrestle,’ … from PIE * lug-to - ‘bent’ (also Old Irish foloing ‘supports,’ inloing ‘connects;’ Middle Welsh ellwng - ‘to set free;’ Greek lygos ‘withy, pliant twig,’ lygizein ‘to bend, twist;’ Gothic galukan ‘to shut,’ uslukan ‘to open;’ Old English locc ‘twist of hair.’) Step by step in the dark, if my foot’s not wet, I’ve found the stone. Soyen Shaku The year winds down towards winter; each day is a small circle, shadowless under cloud or with shadows that lean away from the low sun. Sleet showers alternate with golden light, and after clear nights, frost and fog transform the morning landscape. My resistance to writing grows as the days shorten; heavy, slow, I’m reluctant to enter what feels like my own cold-dark until I remember that